During our visit at Easter, Amanda (my daughter) and I enjoyed an outing to Black Dog Salvage, an antique and salvage shop in Roanoke. This wonderful old afghan caught my eye.... much in the same way this one did at Canton earlier this year. I was drawn to the beautiful corals and blues and greens and yellows.. and browns. I could appreciate the hours someone had spent crocheting it... and how amazing her eye for color was. But, I didn't buy it; the limit on baggage is just no fun!
Come Mother's Day, a box arrived from Amanda and the Little Men. I was touched... and delighted when I saw this gorgeous array of colors inside... and, even more, by the cards and the words from my Loves. Amanda is so good at finding the words and gifts that delight and feed our souls. SHE is gifted that way. Thoughtful. Attentive. Considerate.
You would think I wouldn't still miss her so much... The two years they were going to be in Virginia first stretched to three years... and then four... and are now closing in on five. You would think I would be used to it. I'm not.
I am very, very blessed to be close to others in our family. But, here's the thing: each child holds a place in your heart. One can never replace or overshadow the other. I've also experienced years I was separated from my son... the grief of that separation continually weighed on my heart. Doesn't mean you don't enjoy your life and your relationships with others; it just means their place in your heart aches. Aches just for them. Is filled only by them.
Truth is... separation can be more than just road-miles. Separation can be in the same room. I have a soft heart for those separated... physically or emotionally... far or near... because I know each.
Many mothers and grandmothers struggle with the ache of being separated from their children and grandchildren.. I love that there are others... the ones who are close... and who share the lives of their children and grandchildren... all the firsts... the birthdays...the sick days... the good days... the days in the park... trips to get yogurt... the pleasure of the mundane, everyday routines. To be a part of... not a visitor in... the lives of those you love.... is a true gift. For those who have that opportunity, please enjoy every moment of it... enough for those who would love to be-a-part of their loved one's lives also. I envy, but do not begrudge.
One of the greatest joys is to see your children spread their wings... and fly... then soar... And, that joy keeps you moving in the right direction. You raise them to take flight... and you thank God that they do. Still... you miss them when they fly far, far away.
.
In the same way our children hold a place in our hearts, each of us holds a place in God's heart... that no one else can fill... or take... or overshadow. It is ours. And, His heart delights in our presence and longs for us when we pull away. I love knowing that I have a place in His heart... that my children and grandchildren have a place in His heart...
I hope you delight in knowing that you have a place in His heart, too.
"Ignoring what they said, Jesus told the synagogue ruler, 'Don't be afraid; just believe.'" Mark 5:36
"May the stars carry your sadness away,
May the flowers fill your heart with beauty,
May hope forever wipe away your tears,
And, above all, may silence make you strong."
~ Chief Dan George
Continuing to hold the places in my heart...
blessings ~ tanna
39 comments:
Oh Tanna. How beautiful and thoughtful. I'm so touched with Amanda's love for you.
We are one stop from home and will be back in our little cottage Thursday. It's been a wonderful trip, but as Dorothy said. There is no place like home.
I used you as my illustration of Psalm 139 in my post today about Tristan.
Love and Hugs Wanda
Your beautiful words truly touched my heart.
So perfectly stated about how each person has a special place in our hearts...just beautiful.
Blessings to you always dear friend. :)
Your daughter is so thoughtful and she is instilling this in her sons. Our kids were here with us for a week for CA and OK. We had such a wonderful time together. They are now safely back home and we don't know when they will be back. I miss our little Noah so much--he turned two while here and we celebrated with a cookout. You are so fortunate that you can travel. Because of our health, our traveling days are over. I miss the family but as long as they are happy and well, I am happy. My husband and I are so blessed.
Love you!
Marie
You made me bawl! GAH!
Beautiful, beautiful post today Tanna. I so understand how you fee. Sometimes you can be missing someone when they are in the same room as you, as much as when they are far away. I am missing my son so much, it has hit me this summer. I wish her were closer, and I know you feel that way about your daughter and your grandbabies. She is very, very thoughtful which means she misses you too.
Hugs,
Meredith
What a perfectly lovely post!
And the afghan is beautiful, too!
Your post was beautiful and so true. How sweet of her to go back and get it for you. It is so delicate. I too have a granny square I bought at an antique sale one day. I only wish it could talk to me so I could know about the lady who so diligently crocheted it, her life, her children, her thoughts when she worked on it. I'm sure your afghan must whisper to you too, at night. Annette T
Just so you know: You just made me cry. I relate to this so much. I wonder with regularity what it will be like if that daughter of mine stays so far from home and has her family far from me. I mean it very sincerely when I say that your relationship (long distance) with those little ones and their mom has been an example to me. I love your words in this post more than I can say.
Tanna, Your heart is beautiful and you have a gift with words. Since my children don't live near I relate to everything you said.
Going back to reread. Have a great week.
You have a beautiful gift with words...saying just the right thing the right way. What a beautiful afghan...I love the colors also.
I have to be honest with you - my son aches for my son in Ohio - and it has been years. I do understand. I did love that colorful blanket! sandie
Tanina thank you for sharing your heart in such a beautiful way. I can understand all that you expressed. The ache ... And the joy and delight. Your raised an amazingly thoughtful daughter. ( like her mom). What a love gift she has sent you! you will treasure it ! Hugs, Dotsie
The truth in this post is so clear. ~sigh~ After five years, the sting is still there.
I understand what you are saying, "each child holds a place in your heart. One can never replace or overshadow the other".
We are "sister grandmas" because of our similar situations.
This is such a beautifully written post, Tanna. I quite understand and agree with everything you said. The afghan is beautiful, too. Blessings to you!
Oh yes, Tanna, there are places in our heart that are for one special person! I am so very touched by your post today.
Best,
Bonnie
What a sweet daughter and what a sweet gift. Now you can feel wrapped in their love when you wrap up in your afghan. How special. Love the colors. Amanda is a sweetie.
she is an awesome daughter....I couldn't imagine having my children or grand children live so far away....I know you much ache for them....
One of my most favorite posts ever. Your heart is so clear in this story and in Amanda's gentle thoughtfulness....you know she learned that from you, right? And God's heart for us...what a safe place to be, to believe....to learn the art of heart.
And I dream of going to Black Dog Salvage one day. I have a friend who is moving to that area...I foresee a road trip!
What a lovely sweet gesture and beautiful gift of love is wrapped in this afghan. And your faith Tanna, is much like this blanket...warm, strong, beautiful and enduring. You are indeed a gift to many. Hugs.
such a beautiful, thoughtful gift.....from a beautiful, thoughtful daughter! lovely sentiments.
I still see both kids but know that the time is nearing when they may not live close enough for a day visit. So glad you are close to your daughter and that she thought of you when she purchased that blanket that is gorgeous! You speak wise words here today :)
I love it. I'll trade you daughters anytime.
Tanna! This just is so wonderful and TRUE! I loved EVERY word! I was just saying to Bob how sad and empty I feel having Emma at camp this week (she is simply gone a week) and how quiet and empty our house feels without her...and then we thought of the days too quickly coming that each child will move on...OH DEAR!!!!! So sweet of Amanda to send along that afghan and it is a beautiful gift ALL AROUND for MANY reasons!! Such an insightful post!! LOVE!
Wonderful post, Tanna! And what a lovely gift!
You are such a kindred spirit. I totally identified with this beautifully written post! The afghan is lovely and a thoughtful gift from your daughter.
Blessings,
Dianne
HI Tannia I can understand your wonderful post as one of my daughters lie on the other side of the world and my other oneon teh Isle of Wight. I do miss them all including watchig the gran children growing up. However GOd is good, ALL the time. Margaret
how very sweet of your daughter to get this for you and send it later. :) although i don't have children or grandchildren, i can understand the separation ache from family, having lived 1100 miles away from my own blood since i was 20.
I know exactly how you feel as I feel the same way. I have a very tender and special place in my heart for each of my sons and their dad and also many more wonderful family and friends the Lord has blessed me with. In particular one niece who is close in age has such a special place in my heart and I repeatedly tell her so.
The afghan is just beautiful and I have a similar one my sweet mother in law made for me before she passed away.
Blessings~
I agree fully, dear lady, I miss my daughter and her children when I can't be near them. Then I miss my son and his family when I'm not near them, a real conundrum!
Yes, I love knowing that God loves me and all of mine.
Your afghan is beautiful and so happy it is now yours. The colours in it are really wonderful, aren't they.
Hugs, Cindy
I bawled my eyes out when I read this. I had to come back later to comment. I miss home. I miss you. I wish so much that we were closer. Counting down the days until our next visit. xoxoxoxoxoxoxo from me. xoxoxoxoxoxo from the LM. We love you bigger than the sky - to the moon and back.
This is such a beautiful post, Tanna. having been on both sides of first living far away form my children and grandchildren, and now living close to them, I can say it was worth the sacrifice of changing our entire lives to be near them. Of course everyone can't do that, so we feel incredibly blessed. For one reason or another, everything fell into place. But in the end, it may be temporary, as my son warned us (before we moved) that he might have to return east one day to advance his career. I'm hoping it won't happen too soon! Life is forever changing and we have to enjoy what we have at each moment.
PS: This quilt is lovely! Your daughter is very thoughtful!
You've truly expressed your feelings and your love. What a sweet post!
Dear Tanna, A heart is so fragile, yet endures so much.
I find comfort knowing that the Lord will not give us more than we can handle, yet we try to more forward with grace as we take one day at a time.
I know that it is the small joys in life that keep our heart full.
Blessings dearest. Catherine xoxo
Tanna, this was beautiful and will be appreciated by all who have to love across the miles. Thank you for this lovely post. Hugs and blessings...Mary
I do love that afghan and the fact that your daughter sent it to you. So touching. I always say when you are truly in tune with someone...you don't have to ask what to get for their birthday etc......you just know them.
Wow Separation can occur in the same room...
HOw perfectly put.....
what a post.
God Bless you right this minute
Tanna- we are about 2 hours away from 2 of our grandbabies and that sometimes seems like an eternity. We also have babes 8 hours away-- and that's so very hard.We do want our children to soar on their own-- but you want to keep them close too--
That afghan is just gorgeous-- it must have been a wonderful surprise to have it return to you :)
Vicki
You raised a lovely young daughter. What a thoughtful gift. And it is so special that she makes sure the little men send you notes of love, too. I am supposed to be planning our trip to the States but just can't seem to get motivated to do so. The first 2 weeks I will have to wing it without my husband -- not looking forward to that at all. I don't have family to stay with so there will be a whole lot of hotel living which is fine, the boys enjoy that, it's just expensive. Oh well! When my husband arrives, we will road trip it from New Orleans to Colorado where we will settle Yusef in at college and then leave him. That is the part I am really, really not looking forward to. So your post has touched my heart and right now I can't see to type from the tears. :( Best wishes and blessings, Tammy
I couldn't read all of this because I started crying. Being close isn't always about distance, and all moms wish the emotional, physical and spiritual closeness would be theirs with their children...and yet, they do have wings and they do fly and God writes their stories, not us.
Now to go wipe my eyes...my heart knows this well.
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